28th of February

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”

- Agnes Repplier

I spoke at length with a friend today, who is in a rough spot. As these conversations often do, the topic came around to happiness and contentment. What defines these two states? Are they the same thing? Are they inextricably linked? 

The definitions will change from person to person in the specifics, but overall, I think, it generally comes down to that 'wanting what you have' thing vs. 'having what you want'. It is maybe a subtle distinction, linguistically, but it makes a world of difference in a practical sense. And it requires a bit of work, for most of us, to clear away the obstacles to happiness, to get to a place where we are receptive to being satisfied (satis being the Latin for 'enough' or 'sufficient'), and are willing to accept things as they are. This does not mean 'settle', by the way, in the pejorative sense. It doesn't have to be about giving things up. 

There are those who will disagree with me, those who are certain that happiness does lie in things acquired, or collected. And it certainly can be a rush of happiness for certain events or things... there is nothing wrong with that. But, in any kind of lasting, meaningful way, happiness does not come from without, as far as I can tell. It really has to do with being comfortable in one's own skin... in enjoying the talents we have, in attaining goals that we set ourselves. Self-sufficiency seems to be a part of the deal. The more self-sufficient we are, the less dependent we are by definition, and that means we have more choice, more room to move. Ultimately, we are more sure of ourselves. 

Happiness can occur from out of the blue, sure... but mostly it is a choice, and it requires a little effort – on some days it can require a lot of effort. It seems silly. but there are times when I need to remind myself to choose happiness over bitching and moaning. Too funny.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Contentment” - n. 1.) a state of happiness and satisfaction.

May you remember to be happy about all the things you can possibly be happy about. May that happiness spread far and wide. May you be comfortable in your own skin...

27th of February

“I wish you all the joy that you can wish.”

- William Shakespeare (from Merchant of Venice)

As a child, I was frequently told that “You can only keep it by giving it away” and “Those who have the hardest time accepting a gift or compliment, generally are not in the habit of giving them.” This Shakespeare quote reminds of these other two... though they are all slightly different in focus, they get at the same thing: giving of yourself. 

If I possess some quality or advantage and I don't share it, or make use of it, then it will likely wither (see Ebenezer Scrooge as extreme example). If I do share it, or give it away, then paradoxically, it will grow (see MLK, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, and those that give  generously who are closer to home, as above). Don't know why this works exactly, but it does. It is why charitable people generally seem to be happy people, I think... it is not that they are innately happy, and as a result are charitable, it's that they derive happiness from helping others. 

I think most of us hear, as children, that it is 'better to give than receive', or some such maxim. It is a point well worth revisiting, regularly. Not just for the happy/good/joy that you will feel, though that is excellent, but also for the good that it does other people. This may be true of material gifts and or financial help, but it is especially true of the less tangible gifts one can give: Love, Joy, Assurance... even a smile can do some good. 

Before I devolve into total cheesiness, I will stop. Practice magnanimity, which at its most basic level means 'generosity', but if more literally translated from its Latin roots, means 'greatness of spirit'. Seems, to me, to be the way to go.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Magnanimity” - n. 1.) the quality of being very generous, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself. 2.) the quality of forgiving easily. 

I wish you all the joy you can wish. I hope you are in the frame of mind to wish a lot of joy...

26th of February

  “I Remember Galileo”

I remember Galileo describing the mind

as a piece of paper blown around by the wind,

and I loved the sight of it sticking to a tree 

or jumping into the backseat of a car,

and for years I watched paper leap through my cities;

but yesterday I saw the mind was a squirrel caught crossing

Route 80 between the wheels of a giant truck,

dancing back and forth like a thin leaf,

or a frightened string, for only two seconds living

on the white concrete before he got away,

his life shortened by all that terror, his head

jerking, his yellow teeth ground down to dust.

It was the speed of the squirrel and his lowness to the ground,

his great purpose and the alertness of his dancing,

that showed me the difference between him and paper.

Paper will do in theory, when there is time

to sit back in a metal chair and study shadows;

but for this life I need a squirrel,

his clawed feet spread, his whole soul quivering,

the hot wind rushing through his hair,

the loud noise shaking him from head to tail.

O philosophical mind, O mind of paper, I need a squirrel

finishing his wild dash across the highway,

rushing up his green ungoverned hillside. 

– Gerald Stern

I have to say, I can relate to several mind modes.... I have my times when I am the paper blowing around from thing to thing, periods of quiet and stillness, periods of steady focus, and, sometimes, I am the frenetic, urgently purposeful squirrel. 

I suppose it's all good, as long as I am fairly balanced between the various modes.... Depending on the task at hand, my needs, and the needs of those around me, I can hopefully have some small amount of influence over the mode of my mind... although some days, I just show up, and see what's going on. 

Mostly I opt for being part of the information highway, the accelerated exchanges – plugged in, and a little wired, over the detached and floating airiness. But, I have to remember to take a break from that pace... lest I burn out the bean. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Purposeful” - adj. 1.) having or showing determination or resolve. 2.) having a useful purpose, intentional.

I hope to be mindful and purposeful and to keep balance in mind. 

25th of February

“Make use of the things around you.

This light rain

Outside the window, for one.”

–  Raymond Carver (from Sunday Night)

'Make use of'... as a phrase, inspires warmth in me... part of it is that my Mom said it a lot when I was a kid (that, and 'Here, make yourself useful' which was generally a warm invitation to join her in some chore or activity)...part of it is that it is a phrase which speaks to the tie between industry (note the small “i”) and creativity. And not just for purely creative endeavors... I have watched friends fix things in surprising ways, enjoyed more theoretical combinations, and, of course, there are the more artistic examples. 

Joseph Cornell would be one of the first to jump to mind for his shadow boxes and collages... and it occurs to me, that making use of the things you come across, is very different from 'found art' or accidental inspiration of some sort... those are often excellent, but are almost purely examples of someone's vision of a thing from their own perspective. Again, that can be interesting. But this 'making use of' something, a la Cornell, or Carver, involves the work that goes into seeing it a certain way, and then the work that goes into moulding it, or rendering it into something useful, something beautiful, or something interesting, maybe thought-provoking. 

As I write this, it is raining outside the window, so there's that. But, that rain could be a thing to be all dreary about, to whine about the weather, or the whatever... or I can choose to enjoy it in some small way. I can do something in response to the rain... let's say go get under the covers. But how I do that is my choice, and my intention around the activity, no matter what it is, defines the activity: I can climb under the covers to escape, and stay there all day, or I can celebrate the grey, wet day by climbing under covers for a bit, to read, to nap, or just to think. I can even make it a whole other thing by inviting my partner to join me, or by playing a game under the covers with my 4-yr old. There are a myriad of possibilities. Whatever it is, I can make use of it. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Useful” - adj. 1.) able to be used for a practical purpose or in several ways. make oneself useful : do something that is of some value or benefit to someone.

I hope to be useful today. Perhaps I can make use of something that I would have otherwise overlooked. 

24th of February

  “Stanley Kunitz”

I used to imagine him

coming from the house, like Merlin

strolling with important gestures

through the garden

where everything grows so thickly,

where birds sing, little snakes lie

on the boughs, thinking of nothing

but their own good lives,

where petals float upward,

their colors exploding,

and trees open their moist

pages of thunder ―

it has happened every summer for years.

But now I know more

about the great wheel of growth,

and decay, and rebirth,

and know my vision for a falsehood.

Now I see him coming from the house ―

I see him on his knees,

cutting away the diseased, the superfluous,

coaxing the new,

knowing that the hour of fulfillment

is buried in years of patience ― 

yet willing to labor like that

on the mortal wheel.

Oh, what good it does the heart

to know it isn't magic!

Like the human child I am

I rush to imitate ― 

I watch him as he bends

among the leaves and vines

to hook some weed or other;

even when I do not see him,

I think of him there

raking and trimming, stirring up

those sheets of fire

between the smothering weights of earth,

the wild and shapeless air.

                     - Mary Oliver

If I remember correctly, Mary Oliver studied with Stanley Kunitz. If this poem is any indication, she had a huge amount of respect and reverence for the older poet. In their writing they both share a keen observation of the world around them, and work to relay how it strikes them. I suppose you could say that of most writers worth their salt, but I think it is especially true of these two, though they are very different poets.

The thing that strikes me this morning, is the combination of work and amazement. These are writers who both work hard to render their personal amazements, and relay them to others. They pay close attention to their surroundings, and are often in awe of what they witness. I think they work to pay that close attention, and then they work to convey what they saw, what they felt. 

The relief she feels at discovering that this man worked steadily at it to get his results is something I can relate to. It is easy to see people with great talents and assume that they just open the faucet of creativity or ingenuity and let it pour out. That they just have something I don't, and cannot acquire. This is especially true for me of artists and creators, but it applies across the board. True, they the talented almost always have some innate talents, and perhaps grew up in an environment that encouraged them one way or another... but in every instance, as far as I can tell, they worked hard, for a long time, to be as good as they are. 

It's not waving a wand and making a beautiful flower appear from thin air... it's noticing, and paying attention closely enough to see the interesting thing about the flower (which, by the way, might not be about beauty at all). Then it's all about the weeding, the pruning, the nourishing... consistently working, and with respect. Then and only then, is sharing an option. 

Embedded in this poem is also, I think, her acceptance of her own learning process. Everybody learns from others. You don't need to come up with it all on your own. Imitate, ask,  learn, work hard, and make something that is your own, eventually... but don't freak out if you haven't broken the mould right out of the gate. 

Pay attention. Work hard. Enjoy your amazement, whatever it may be inspired by....

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Wonder” - n. 1.) a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable. 2.) a strange or emarkable person, thing, or event.

May I pay close attention and see more than I might normally do. May I have the willingness to work hard, consistently.

23rd of February

 “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

As I think about this quote, I think it is fundamentally spot on. Not surprising, considering its source. The man generally knew of what he spoke. But, to really get in there and run through the last week or so, with this quote in mind... there may be some other types of Happiness, sure, but essentially, these three things being in harmony, equal being comfortable in your own skin, I think. And that is definitely a brand of Happy, for me.

And, I suppose you could have think/say/do in alignment for the negative, which would probably not make for a whole boatload of happy, but let's forego that particular interpretation for the moment. Thinking horrible things, saying horrible things, and doing horrible things, would make for an aligned human of sorts... and maybe there are those who would find happiness in that state, but I don't think I want to hang out with those people. 

I certainly think that the absence of harmony, regarding think/say/do, results in no happy. If I am talking pleasantly to a friend, customer, client, or family member, but am riled up inside my head, agitated about them, or something else, I am effectively split into parts, and on some level, being false to myself and to the situation. No happy.

When I am surrounded by what is meaningful, and focused on what is meaningful to me and to others... working toward some meaningful goal, big or small... this is generally when I find that I am in alignment, that what I am thinking about, what I am talking about, and what I am doing all are in-step.

It helps to focus on my part in things, as I can occasionally be distracted by other people's business... if I allow myself to get up in other people's stuff, or speak ill of other people, it chips away at my alignment, my serenity, my happiness. Chips away at me. 

If I can manage to set my default to kindness on a daily basis, then what I am thinking about, talking about, and, most importantly, doing... is rooted in kindness. This generally makes for the happiest me... and as has been noted before, here and elsewhere, me being happy, being aligned and comfortable in my own skin, generally spreads to those around me. 

This is a good thing.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Alignment” - n. 1.) arrangement in a straight line, or in correct or appropriate relative positions. 2.) a position of agreement or alliance.

I hope to be aligned in the most positive, productive, and ultimately satisfying way for myself and those around me.

22nd of February

“There's only a certain amount of works you can make, so you have to make only the ones you really want to make. It's all about trying to be as productive as possible.” 

- Cornelia Parker

In a nutshell, use your time well. 

This from one of the most interesting, innovative people on the planet. Ms. Parker would be on my shortlist for people to have at the dinner table, if you could pick any 10 people from history. Not solely because she is an artist of incredible interest and output, but precisely because she can find an interesting angle on things that most of us would miss. She is a great searcher out of stories, and finder of facts, both obscure and obvious. Actually, I don't think there is a line for her between facts and stories... it seems that, to her, everything has a story, no matter how static an item appears to the average observer. The way she re-presents these finds is just stunning. Her stamp is unmistakable. Really kind of incredible.

And, she apparently needs to be mindful about what she spends her time on. 

Amazing. 

It is easy to imagine her just pulling amazing art out of the nooks and crannies, the way I might dust a shelf or vacuum the living room rug. A matter of course, a thing to do on a monday morning... but of course, selection, and reflection, are a huge part of it all. She is choosing what to spend time thinking about, choosing what she will work on, and more importantly, it seems that she makes an effort to not waste her time. There might just be a connection there between the originality and impact of her art and the not wasting her time thing. Huh.

Time is precious, fleeting, blah blah blah. But then, it really is. I can drift. Or, I can move along, bumping into things and reacting with varying levels of intensity. Or, I can choose my course, spend my time well, make the most of what I have been given. Though the choice seems obvious, I need to remind myself, day in and day out, to do this. 

“Use your time well.”

“Use your time well.”

“Use your time well.”

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Productive” - adj. 1.) producing or able to produce large amounts of goods, crops or other commodities. 2.) achieving or producing a significant amount or result.

I hope to bring all my creativity to bear and use my time well, to produce as significant a result as possible, time and again, in all quarters of my life. 

21st of February

 “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.”

- Alice Walker

You look around and you cannot help but see there is an awful lot of truth in this statement... you may also see that there are people who loudly intimate to the room at large that they have power of one type or another, who have very little power in the true sense of the word. They are simply loud about what talents they may or may not have. 

There are such obvious examples all around of the abuse of power, that the word often has a pejorative ring about it. “Those in power...did something bad/unethical/nasty/thoughtless...” But, there are also daily examples of people using their talents and powers to great effect, and for good things. We see people with real power every day.

In the best sense, it seems that those with power almost glow with it... the power of being consistently kind... the power of being confident in your talents... the power of being sure of yourself... the power of knowing you are on the right track... the power of being loved and loving in return...the power of knowing you have been of great service to another person. These are powers that are all around us, if we take time to notice them. More to the point, they are powers that are inside us, activated by doing, by direction, by making the most of potential. They are there if we choose to cultivate them. The first step is to recognize them. 

If we are lucky we will harness our own powers and be able to show others (either directly, or by example) that they, too, are powerful.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Power” - n. 1.) the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality. 2.) the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.

I hope to realize the powers in and around me. May I use them in the best possible ways for me and for those around me. 

20th of February

"What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?"

– Jean-Jacques Rousseau

It is probably the elemental thing to live your life by... quite a few of the “rules” out there, be they philosophical, religious, societal, or familial, either boil down to, or are superseded by kindness. If you are as kind as you know how to be at every turn in your day, most of those rules fall away... or are taken care of by said kindness.

It is a funny word, because it is simple in that people can easily point to kindness, or the lack thereof... but it is a word that contains a number of things. It is treating people well, of course... do unto others, and whatnot... but it has a softness to it, and an understanding or sympathy that is in there, too. Being thoughtful. Having empathy. There is a little bit of advantage vs. disadvantage, too. You can be kind to people that are in a great space I suppose, but most of the time, it seems to carry with it the sense of helping someone less fortunate in any number of ways.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit):

“Thoughtful” - adj. 1.) showing consideration for the needs of other people. 2.) showing careful consideration or attention.

I hope to be kind, thoughtful, and aware today.

19th of February

  “The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”

- Anne Morriss (“The Way I See It”)

You very likely have seen this quote recently. It is actually from a Starbucks cup - #76 in the “The Way I See It” series... Which a part of my brain is dead-set against quoting... it's on a coffee cup, for crying out loud! And not only that, but it's decidedly not a cup from one of the uber-excellent independent coffee house in out fair city of Portland... but from the monolithic coffee empire of Starbucks. But, if I close my mind to the things around me, whatever they may be, then I am pretty hosed. Plus, I love coffee and am committed to it, no matter the outlet for said liquid black nourishment.... not particularly monogamous when it comes to the bean... And Anne Morriss seems to be a insightful person who is committed to making good things happen... from what I can tell she is a facilitator an advocate for the planet and it's many peoples.

And, on this day, some years ago, I got married. So there is not a lot else on my mind today other than love and commitment. 

This quote reminds me that commitment is a type of surrender and is one of those paradoxes where by giving in to something, you actually gain a kind of power, a freedom. I am thinking about relationships today, but this is true of a commitment to yourself, a project, or even an ideal or cause. When you throw your whole self into something, there is much to be gained. Obviously, commitments can be hard work - that's why they're called commitments. But from what I have experienced, and what I have observed, the things that bear fruit, require work. Consistent work. And the yield is directly proportional to how much I am willing to put myself into the commitment. 

You combine commitment with the selflessness and levity of love (love in relationships, yes, but also in the broader sense), and you have a powerful combination indeed. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Commitment” - n. 1.) the act of committing or the state of being committed. 2.) Dedication; application. 3.) A pledge or undertaking. 4.) An act of pledging or setting aside something. 

I hope to revel in the commitments I have made, to stay dedicated, and treat them with the respect that any serious endeavor warrants. 

18th of February

“To express is to drive.  And when you want to give something presence, you have to consult nature. And there is where Design comes in. And if you think of Brick, for instance, and you say to Brick, "What do you want, Brick?" 

And Brick says to you, "I like an Arch."

And if you say to Brick, "Look, arches are expensive, and I can use a concrete lentil over you... What do you think of that?"

“. . . ."

"Brick?"

Brick says: "... I like an Arch." ”

- Louis Kahn

Everything has its place, its proper manifestation. Just as a poem, short story, novel, film, painting, photograph, or fireside regaling might be the best form for a certain story, so too do people have their proper mode. And by “proper”, I do not mean for a second 'fitting in with society's expectations'... I mean 'best possible path' or 'highest manifestation' for the person at hand. 'Best' and 'Highest' are problematic words, in that they are loaded with all sorts of hierarchical blah, but, in their truest meaning - for each individual – they are a good reference point. 

Let's say Person A is an all-around addict. A total fiend. They, at one stage in their life, might make the argument that they are an addict, and addicts wallow in their addictions... this is what they do, says Person A. Maybe. But, at another stage in their life, they might decide that the drug/food/exercise/sex/what have you, is actually dragging them down, keeping them from doing 'what it is they're supposed to do'.... They get clean, straight, centered, or the like, and begin to realize some other part of themselves. Some would say they are being 'true to their nature', at this point. Which is it? It can cut both ways, obviously... but you have all seen someone on both sides of this particular example.... most would probably agree that, if an addict, sober is the way to go. It tends to be more constructive. Other than the poet John Berryman, I cannot think of an example where this wouldn't be true. And, I'm not even sure about that. 

So, like Brick, we all have a thing we want to be, consciously or otherwise... we all have a mode/job/thing to be or do that is the highest expression of ourselves, the best that we can be. If we get past the Hallmarkishness of this statement, and really sit with it, it is a bit startling. Can be quite scary, really.

Pretty sure Mr. Kahn would consider only two options: the highest/best form, or not at all. The middling compromise is not really worth it, AND it goes against the nature of the thing (or person). The end result is disappointing if you don't honor what it wants to be.... Sounds right to me. 

Then it comes down to this: “What is your nature? What and who are you?  Then... you just act accordingly.  “Just”.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Realize” - v. 1.) become fully aware of (something) as a fact; understand fully. 2.) cause (something desired or anticipated) to happen. 3.) to give actual or physical form to.

I hope to fearlessly realize my best self, to be the thing I am supposed to be – whatever that may be. 

17th of February

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.  
 - Ernest Hemingway (from The Sun Also Rises)

Without question, one of my favorite quotes. As someone who had seen a fair bit of adversity at a relatively young age, it was good to read this to remind me that everyone has their hardships, and that, though some will not be mended, many are. On the whole, humans are resilient. At no point in the mix, does the world have a special axe to grind with me - it does what it does to every single soul. Might as well try to have a sense of humor about it. 

I certainly feel stronger at the broken places (at least on most days)... It has led me to volunteering, put me in a position to be of help, and it is probably responsible for the bulk of my ability to be compassionate. It is probably also responsible in large part for my sense of humor. In there with some deep understanding, and intense feeling, is a choice to not take myself too seriously, to be flexible, and to have some laughs. 

Obviously there are those who focus on the 'life breaking us all' piece and are, as a result, all gloom and doom. There will be rough patches, yes. But there is a lot of other stuff, too. I maintain that if it weren't for the darker things, I would have less appreciation for the lighter ones. 

There is also a certain confidence that comes from having been through some rough patches, and gotten through them. They happen, and they end. One way or another. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Resilient” - adj. 1.) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed. See 'flexible'. 2.) recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant.

I hope to be flexible, strong, and to have some perspective on things. May I remember to laugh...a little laughter can go a long way. 

16th of February

“If you treat people right they will treat you right... ninety percent of the time.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I think this is largely true... an extension of the “do unto others...” mode. It is an excellent rule to live by, overall. But that other ten percent of the time can be damn tricky. 

When you have generally treated someone well, have taken care to be thoughtful, and maybe even gone out of your way to do something nice for them, but they come back at you with less-than-kindness, let alone basic courtesy, then it is all too easy to want to roll right into righteous anger... to rail, mentally, at the unfairness of it all. This sounds rather dramatic, yes... because it is. A good head of steam doesn't allow much time for reflection and levelling off. 

Righteous Anger is problematic, at best. More likely it is a poison that eats at you from the inside... or worse still, becomes a habit, a readily available reaction. So, try to allow for that ten percent of unreciprocated kindness. Understand that someone may just be having a bad moment or not be at their best.... try to take it in stride, and hold your tongue in the moment.

Be kind, consistently, to all. Enjoy the incredible feeling that comes from this practice. 

Be they accurate, the numbers are pretty good after all. If I consistently treat people well, I can look forward to at least 6.3 good days out of every 7. That ain't half-bad.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Kindness” - n. The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

I hope to continually treat people as well as I am able, to be as kind as I know how, and to not expect anything particular in return. May I be understanding and tolerant of those who, for whatever reason, cannot reciprocate kindness at a certain moment.

15th of February

“Little things affect little minds.” 

- Benjamin Disraeli (among other things, a 19th century British Prime Minister)

I am pretty sure Mister Disraeli, with his assuredness, and his razor wit, was being a wee bit the intellectual snob, here. Which is entirely his perogative. I have to say, I do so enjoy reading his many proclamations and assertions. 

Whatever his purpose, I am interested in this quote as it pertains to the various minds I may have in the course of a day, week, or month.... On my better days, my mind is in gear, is open, and does not get held up by small agitations, roadblocks, or other things that might keep me from doing whatever it is that is before me. On my lesser days, my mind can be more or less blown out of the water by 'little things': the proverbial shoe lace, a perceived slight, something that is not working the way I think it should be working.  And I consider myself a fairly balanced person, so I am assuming that this polarity of 'minds' is something that most people experience, in varying degrees.

So, yet again, it seems that my frame of mind is really the key to how my day will go, the key to how I will be able to move through my day. The better I take care of myself, usually, the better my frame of mind. Weird.... 

Weirder still that the better my day goes, the better it goes for the people in my immediate vicinity. In fact, my good day, may even be contagious....

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Moderation" - n. The avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one's behavior or political opinions. (This is one of Disraeli's favorite words, by the by. Also, I am put in mind of the position of 'moderator', as in a debate, who would be the person charged with keeping the two (or more!) sides in check, and maintaining the flow of the event. The Moderator, then, keeps things going smoothly.) 

I hope to not sweat the little things today, so as to have room for the things that truly matter, be they my family, my friends, or the things close to my heart. Here's to having a contagiously good day...

14th of February

“We must talk to each other as much as we can. When one of us dies, there will be some things that the other will never be able to talk of with anyone else.”   
- Henri Matisse (to Pablo Picasso)

What a stunning couple of sentences...! Of course, the lion's share of what both of these men did was stunning, but really... what a perfect expression of love and respect. What I love most about this is the energy around it... to feel as if you have more to say, than you have time to say it... and this on the scale of years. I don't get a frenetic, running-out-of-time thing here as much as I get a mutual excitement, and a bubbling over of wanting to share with - and learn from - one another. This, and the simple, yet profound comprehension that what they had between them was unique... that it was sacred. 

On this "Day of American Affection", I am going to try to get in under the red and the heart-shaped (before some of you get your knickers in a twist, those things are fun and excellent, they're just... you know... sapped of some of their oomph, given their everywhere-ed-ness), and take some real pleasure in the energy between me and those I love. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Rapport" - n. A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other's feelings and/or ideas and communicate well.

I hope to recognize that which is unique and sacred in my relationships with my friends and family. I'll look to celebrate those things in some small, private, poignant way.  

13th of February

“The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mystical. It is the sower of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger . . . is as good as dead. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms – this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the ranks of devoutly religious men.”    - Albert Einstein

On certain days, I welcome this feeling, occasionally I even seek it out... other days, it completely freaks me out, because there is no figuring it out, or understanding it. Personally, my most 'religious' moments have been under a bright moon in the wee hours of the morning, or by the ocean as little waves ripple against the shore, or big ones pound it relentlessly. My cathedral, is the domed roof of the sky, or walking through the tall trunks of the forest. 

That 'mystical' feeling seems to me to be an expansive quiet, one I feel compelled to share, or at least put words to...it is one of the most elusive things to share, or put words to, however.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Awe" - n. A feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.

I hope to allow everything in, be it known, unknown, or in between... to be paying attention so as not to miss the extraordinary and/or the extra ordinary.