28th of February

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”

- Agnes Repplier

I spoke at length with a friend today, who is in a rough spot. As these conversations often do, the topic came around to happiness and contentment. What defines these two states? Are they the same thing? Are they inextricably linked? 

The definitions will change from person to person in the specifics, but overall, I think, it generally comes down to that 'wanting what you have' thing vs. 'having what you want'. It is maybe a subtle distinction, linguistically, but it makes a world of difference in a practical sense. And it requires a bit of work, for most of us, to clear away the obstacles to happiness, to get to a place where we are receptive to being satisfied (satis being the Latin for 'enough' or 'sufficient'), and are willing to accept things as they are. This does not mean 'settle', by the way, in the pejorative sense. It doesn't have to be about giving things up. 

There are those who will disagree with me, those who are certain that happiness does lie in things acquired, or collected. And it certainly can be a rush of happiness for certain events or things... there is nothing wrong with that. But, in any kind of lasting, meaningful way, happiness does not come from without, as far as I can tell. It really has to do with being comfortable in one's own skin... in enjoying the talents we have, in attaining goals that we set ourselves. Self-sufficiency seems to be a part of the deal. The more self-sufficient we are, the less dependent we are by definition, and that means we have more choice, more room to move. Ultimately, we are more sure of ourselves. 

Happiness can occur from out of the blue, sure... but mostly it is a choice, and it requires a little effort – on some days it can require a lot of effort. It seems silly. but there are times when I need to remind myself to choose happiness over bitching and moaning. Too funny.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Contentment” - n. 1.) a state of happiness and satisfaction.

May you remember to be happy about all the things you can possibly be happy about. May that happiness spread far and wide. May you be comfortable in your own skin...