20th of February

"What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?"

– Jean-Jacques Rousseau

It is probably the elemental thing to live your life by... quite a few of the “rules” out there, be they philosophical, religious, societal, or familial, either boil down to, or are superseded by kindness. If you are as kind as you know how to be at every turn in your day, most of those rules fall away... or are taken care of by said kindness.

It is a funny word, because it is simple in that people can easily point to kindness, or the lack thereof... but it is a word that contains a number of things. It is treating people well, of course... do unto others, and whatnot... but it has a softness to it, and an understanding or sympathy that is in there, too. Being thoughtful. Having empathy. There is a little bit of advantage vs. disadvantage, too. You can be kind to people that are in a great space I suppose, but most of the time, it seems to carry with it the sense of helping someone less fortunate in any number of ways.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit):

“Thoughtful” - adj. 1.) showing consideration for the needs of other people. 2.) showing careful consideration or attention.

I hope to be kind, thoughtful, and aware today.

19th of February

  “The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”

- Anne Morriss (“The Way I See It”)

You very likely have seen this quote recently. It is actually from a Starbucks cup - #76 in the “The Way I See It” series... Which a part of my brain is dead-set against quoting... it's on a coffee cup, for crying out loud! And not only that, but it's decidedly not a cup from one of the uber-excellent independent coffee house in out fair city of Portland... but from the monolithic coffee empire of Starbucks. But, if I close my mind to the things around me, whatever they may be, then I am pretty hosed. Plus, I love coffee and am committed to it, no matter the outlet for said liquid black nourishment.... not particularly monogamous when it comes to the bean... And Anne Morriss seems to be a insightful person who is committed to making good things happen... from what I can tell she is a facilitator an advocate for the planet and it's many peoples.

And, on this day, some years ago, I got married. So there is not a lot else on my mind today other than love and commitment. 

This quote reminds me that commitment is a type of surrender and is one of those paradoxes where by giving in to something, you actually gain a kind of power, a freedom. I am thinking about relationships today, but this is true of a commitment to yourself, a project, or even an ideal or cause. When you throw your whole self into something, there is much to be gained. Obviously, commitments can be hard work - that's why they're called commitments. But from what I have experienced, and what I have observed, the things that bear fruit, require work. Consistent work. And the yield is directly proportional to how much I am willing to put myself into the commitment. 

You combine commitment with the selflessness and levity of love (love in relationships, yes, but also in the broader sense), and you have a powerful combination indeed. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Commitment” - n. 1.) the act of committing or the state of being committed. 2.) Dedication; application. 3.) A pledge or undertaking. 4.) An act of pledging or setting aside something. 

I hope to revel in the commitments I have made, to stay dedicated, and treat them with the respect that any serious endeavor warrants. 

18th of February

“To express is to drive.  And when you want to give something presence, you have to consult nature. And there is where Design comes in. And if you think of Brick, for instance, and you say to Brick, "What do you want, Brick?" 

And Brick says to you, "I like an Arch."

And if you say to Brick, "Look, arches are expensive, and I can use a concrete lentil over you... What do you think of that?"

“. . . ."

"Brick?"

Brick says: "... I like an Arch." ”

- Louis Kahn

Everything has its place, its proper manifestation. Just as a poem, short story, novel, film, painting, photograph, or fireside regaling might be the best form for a certain story, so too do people have their proper mode. And by “proper”, I do not mean for a second 'fitting in with society's expectations'... I mean 'best possible path' or 'highest manifestation' for the person at hand. 'Best' and 'Highest' are problematic words, in that they are loaded with all sorts of hierarchical blah, but, in their truest meaning - for each individual – they are a good reference point. 

Let's say Person A is an all-around addict. A total fiend. They, at one stage in their life, might make the argument that they are an addict, and addicts wallow in their addictions... this is what they do, says Person A. Maybe. But, at another stage in their life, they might decide that the drug/food/exercise/sex/what have you, is actually dragging them down, keeping them from doing 'what it is they're supposed to do'.... They get clean, straight, centered, or the like, and begin to realize some other part of themselves. Some would say they are being 'true to their nature', at this point. Which is it? It can cut both ways, obviously... but you have all seen someone on both sides of this particular example.... most would probably agree that, if an addict, sober is the way to go. It tends to be more constructive. Other than the poet John Berryman, I cannot think of an example where this wouldn't be true. And, I'm not even sure about that. 

So, like Brick, we all have a thing we want to be, consciously or otherwise... we all have a mode/job/thing to be or do that is the highest expression of ourselves, the best that we can be. If we get past the Hallmarkishness of this statement, and really sit with it, it is a bit startling. Can be quite scary, really.

Pretty sure Mr. Kahn would consider only two options: the highest/best form, or not at all. The middling compromise is not really worth it, AND it goes against the nature of the thing (or person). The end result is disappointing if you don't honor what it wants to be.... Sounds right to me. 

Then it comes down to this: “What is your nature? What and who are you?  Then... you just act accordingly.  “Just”.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Realize” - v. 1.) become fully aware of (something) as a fact; understand fully. 2.) cause (something desired or anticipated) to happen. 3.) to give actual or physical form to.

I hope to fearlessly realize my best self, to be the thing I am supposed to be – whatever that may be. 

17th of February

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.  
 - Ernest Hemingway (from The Sun Also Rises)

Without question, one of my favorite quotes. As someone who had seen a fair bit of adversity at a relatively young age, it was good to read this to remind me that everyone has their hardships, and that, though some will not be mended, many are. On the whole, humans are resilient. At no point in the mix, does the world have a special axe to grind with me - it does what it does to every single soul. Might as well try to have a sense of humor about it. 

I certainly feel stronger at the broken places (at least on most days)... It has led me to volunteering, put me in a position to be of help, and it is probably responsible for the bulk of my ability to be compassionate. It is probably also responsible in large part for my sense of humor. In there with some deep understanding, and intense feeling, is a choice to not take myself too seriously, to be flexible, and to have some laughs. 

Obviously there are those who focus on the 'life breaking us all' piece and are, as a result, all gloom and doom. There will be rough patches, yes. But there is a lot of other stuff, too. I maintain that if it weren't for the darker things, I would have less appreciation for the lighter ones. 

There is also a certain confidence that comes from having been through some rough patches, and gotten through them. They happen, and they end. One way or another. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Resilient” - adj. 1.) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed. See 'flexible'. 2.) recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant.

I hope to be flexible, strong, and to have some perspective on things. May I remember to laugh...a little laughter can go a long way. 

16th of February

“If you treat people right they will treat you right... ninety percent of the time.”

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I think this is largely true... an extension of the “do unto others...” mode. It is an excellent rule to live by, overall. But that other ten percent of the time can be damn tricky. 

When you have generally treated someone well, have taken care to be thoughtful, and maybe even gone out of your way to do something nice for them, but they come back at you with less-than-kindness, let alone basic courtesy, then it is all too easy to want to roll right into righteous anger... to rail, mentally, at the unfairness of it all. This sounds rather dramatic, yes... because it is. A good head of steam doesn't allow much time for reflection and levelling off. 

Righteous Anger is problematic, at best. More likely it is a poison that eats at you from the inside... or worse still, becomes a habit, a readily available reaction. So, try to allow for that ten percent of unreciprocated kindness. Understand that someone may just be having a bad moment or not be at their best.... try to take it in stride, and hold your tongue in the moment.

Be kind, consistently, to all. Enjoy the incredible feeling that comes from this practice. 

Be they accurate, the numbers are pretty good after all. If I consistently treat people well, I can look forward to at least 6.3 good days out of every 7. That ain't half-bad.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

“Kindness” - n. The quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

I hope to continually treat people as well as I am able, to be as kind as I know how, and to not expect anything particular in return. May I be understanding and tolerant of those who, for whatever reason, cannot reciprocate kindness at a certain moment.

15th of February

“Little things affect little minds.” 

- Benjamin Disraeli (among other things, a 19th century British Prime Minister)

I am pretty sure Mister Disraeli, with his assuredness, and his razor wit, was being a wee bit the intellectual snob, here. Which is entirely his perogative. I have to say, I do so enjoy reading his many proclamations and assertions. 

Whatever his purpose, I am interested in this quote as it pertains to the various minds I may have in the course of a day, week, or month.... On my better days, my mind is in gear, is open, and does not get held up by small agitations, roadblocks, or other things that might keep me from doing whatever it is that is before me. On my lesser days, my mind can be more or less blown out of the water by 'little things': the proverbial shoe lace, a perceived slight, something that is not working the way I think it should be working.  And I consider myself a fairly balanced person, so I am assuming that this polarity of 'minds' is something that most people experience, in varying degrees.

So, yet again, it seems that my frame of mind is really the key to how my day will go, the key to how I will be able to move through my day. The better I take care of myself, usually, the better my frame of mind. Weird.... 

Weirder still that the better my day goes, the better it goes for the people in my immediate vicinity. In fact, my good day, may even be contagious....

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Moderation" - n. The avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one's behavior or political opinions. (This is one of Disraeli's favorite words, by the by. Also, I am put in mind of the position of 'moderator', as in a debate, who would be the person charged with keeping the two (or more!) sides in check, and maintaining the flow of the event. The Moderator, then, keeps things going smoothly.) 

I hope to not sweat the little things today, so as to have room for the things that truly matter, be they my family, my friends, or the things close to my heart. Here's to having a contagiously good day...

14th of February

“We must talk to each other as much as we can. When one of us dies, there will be some things that the other will never be able to talk of with anyone else.”   
- Henri Matisse (to Pablo Picasso)

What a stunning couple of sentences...! Of course, the lion's share of what both of these men did was stunning, but really... what a perfect expression of love and respect. What I love most about this is the energy around it... to feel as if you have more to say, than you have time to say it... and this on the scale of years. I don't get a frenetic, running-out-of-time thing here as much as I get a mutual excitement, and a bubbling over of wanting to share with - and learn from - one another. This, and the simple, yet profound comprehension that what they had between them was unique... that it was sacred. 

On this "Day of American Affection", I am going to try to get in under the red and the heart-shaped (before some of you get your knickers in a twist, those things are fun and excellent, they're just... you know... sapped of some of their oomph, given their everywhere-ed-ness), and take some real pleasure in the energy between me and those I love. 

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Rapport" - n. A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other's feelings and/or ideas and communicate well.

I hope to recognize that which is unique and sacred in my relationships with my friends and family. I'll look to celebrate those things in some small, private, poignant way.  

13th of February

“The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mystical. It is the sower of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger . . . is as good as dead. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms – this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the ranks of devoutly religious men.”    - Albert Einstein

On certain days, I welcome this feeling, occasionally I even seek it out... other days, it completely freaks me out, because there is no figuring it out, or understanding it. Personally, my most 'religious' moments have been under a bright moon in the wee hours of the morning, or by the ocean as little waves ripple against the shore, or big ones pound it relentlessly. My cathedral, is the domed roof of the sky, or walking through the tall trunks of the forest. 

That 'mystical' feeling seems to me to be an expansive quiet, one I feel compelled to share, or at least put words to...it is one of the most elusive things to share, or put words to, however.

the Keeper (word to think about/keep with me for a bit): 

"Awe" - n. A feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.

I hope to allow everything in, be it known, unknown, or in between... to be paying attention so as not to miss the extraordinary and/or the extra ordinary. 

ahem...

A quick hello to kick this thing off.... The aim of this blog is to provide a thought or three for people to absorb, chew on, learn from, disregard, mull over, or grok on... hopefully it adds a little something to your day.

General format will be a quote from some corner of the writing/music/film world, a few thoughts on said quote, and then maybe a hope for the day...  an alternative kind of 'meditation for the day' thang. Many of those books/sites are cool, and much can be gained from them... but most of them, smack a bit too much of religious zeal or general woundedness por moi.

Hence... Qout'id.

Hope you like this, or it helps a little, or it makes you smile... or some combination thereof.

At the very least, I hope this finds you well.

See you soon -
a.